Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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