i permit you to call me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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