Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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