You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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