I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Even my vagina gasped.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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