I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
