yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
