More tranny stories later!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
