My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize