So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
