Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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