kristin has been a bad kristin
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
