i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize