The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
