I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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