Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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