You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
