Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
