Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
