now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
