if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
