so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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