CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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