He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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