just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
