his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
