i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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