i would punch a child for taco bell
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
