what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize