Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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