Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
