If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
