my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
