very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
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