Swine flu. Run for my life!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
