if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
one might say we're banned from that church
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize