bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
