I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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