WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
