i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
