idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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