I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
