I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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