if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
