how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
