my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
