From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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