I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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