Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
