hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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