Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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