What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
