dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
