I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize