Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
