Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
